Shopping is a Necessary Thing
Firstly, shopping is necessity thing in ours life. Because
we need something: food, clothes, shoes, and something...
Like every girl I enjoy my time shopping because I like to
renew my wardrobe and update my style. I prefer to walk around shops, relax,
and concentrate on my shopping. However, shopping would get to dull if it
became my daily routine. I feel nervous when I can't find what I want.
Sometimes shopping can be time when you feel relax, and sometimes you feel
angry.
Secondly I have to talk about looking after money. Sometimes
I spend my money later, but now I am trying spending the money on time. I want
to have money all the time, and I buy something, when I have a lot of money.
Of course my parents allow me to spend money on what I want.
For example the money I can spend for apparels, for cosmetics or party. Hence,
my parents give me the freedom to use the money, to understand that if I spend
all the money today, tomorrow I can not buy anything.
Nonetheless everyone wants to be richer and happier. My
family probably would be happier if we would be very wealthy. But money is not
important and now we are living well.
Gautama 6 / 133 Mar
4, 2009 #2
What are the exact instructions for this assignment? Please
post what your instructions were so that we can critique papers with some frame
of reference.
Firstly, shopping is a necessary thing in our livesbecause
we need things like food, clothes, or shoes.
---what are you trying to say here, exactly?---
"Sometimes shopping can be time when you feel relax,
and sometimes you feel angry."
---Perhaps you could change it to this---
"Sometimes shopping can be a time when you feel
relaxed, but sometimes you can feel angry."
Secondly, I have to talk about fiscal responsibility.
---What do you mean by "spending the money on
time"? Do you have a deadline by which your money must be spent?---
"Sometimes I spend my money later, but now I am trying
spending the money on time."
---This is not a complete sentence. Add a verb :)---
"For example the money I can spend for apparels, for
cosmetics or party."
---I would be hesitant to use the word "hence"
here because it implies that you are making an inference from a previously
stated fact. I don't think you could make that sort of inference here.---
"Hence, my parents give me the freedom to use the
money, to understand that if I spend all the money today, tomorrow I can not
buy anything."
(By the way, how do you make red letters? It better not be
some special thing that only moderators can do, lol. :D)
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